‘Equality of Opportunity’ My Fucking Asshole

You want to talk about ‘equality of opportunity’ in this country? Give me a fucking break. Take two newborns. We’ll call one ‘A’ and one ‘B’. ‘A,’ like many of us, has some degree-or-other of assets. One or two parents; public school; assisted lunches; whatever. ‘B,’ like a few of us, has parents who put, say, $1,000,000 in a trust fund for him at birth. At a rate of return of 5%, this trust fund throws off $50,000 in dividends and/or capital gains annually, which may be used for ‘B”s benefit, or which may be reinvested to gain even handsomer sums in the future.

Here is where the bullshit myth of ‘equality of opportunity’ lies. The $50,000 ‘B’ is earning each year, from birth, for doing absolutely nothing at all (other than being formed of a fortuitous semen-and-egg combination), earns more than the median income of a full-grown adult working full-time in our nation. Newborn baby > full-ass-grown-full-time-working human, by fortune of sperm-and-fucking-egg. Of course ‘B’ will neither be attending public school nor eating assisted lunches (remember, Ketchup = a vegetable serving!). But that is not the point. The point is: it is as if ‘B’ were born with a clone, or a slave, capable of earning on its own, at the same time ‘B’ himself earns. That clone, or slave, is his money. Money makes money, and at the right principal balance, it does so more quickly than human labor does. ‘B’ was born with a money-earning-money-slave that will work for him, so he can choose his own path.

‘B’ is now free to entertain a path in the arts, culture, humanities, theater, or whatever else he deems *fulfilling*. To write or idle hours away playing the violin, or charting the stars. A path not open to the vast majority of us, precisely because his manservant, money, is earning for him, while we must earn for ourselves. ‘B”s well-being will assuredly be looked after: janitors will clean his living, working, and playing spaces; nurses attend to his illnesses; and servers attend to his food and other needs. In fact, even his life expectancy will be significantly higher than the national average. And those attending to ‘B’ are the ones born without a money-slave to exploit and grab income-without-labor. So they must labor — and forego a pursuit which might otherwise be their natural calling — for the few born with it, by chance. ‘Equality of opportunity’ my fucking asshole.